Eating right. Check. Exercising regularly. Check. Believing in myself. Hmmm . . .

Okay, so over the last year I have significantly improved my nutrition (e.g. no sugar, green smoothies every day, little meat, lots of beans and whole grains, etc.) and I have seriously increased my exercise volume. Although my workouts have been very sporadic, they still add up to more than the previous three years' workouts combined. In the last 3 1/2 weeks, however, my eating has been beyond healthy, and my workouts have been high quantity and high quality. And yet, even with all this, I still am at pretty close to the same weight I was at nine months ago. So what is the problem???? Seriously, the frustration and anger at my body this morning were overwhelming. Why can't I seem to drop this weight, even when I feel like I am doing everything right? Has anyone else experienced this?

Well, I'm guessing there are others out there with similar stories. I know I could conjecture that it has to do with my portion sizes, or eating too often, or eating not often enough, or eating at the wrong times of the day, or my ratio of carbs to protein to fat, or the toxins that my fat cells are holding onto and they just don't want to let them go because that would dump all this toxic waste (literally) into my body so they are holding on for dear life, or a million other things. But to tell you the truth, I have been down most of these roads, and I am still sitting here in the same 150-pound-plus body that I had nine months ago. Want to know what I really think? Well, I'm going to tell you because this is my blog and I can do what I want on my blog. (o; I really think this is a problem of limiting subconscious beliefs and energy blocks. I know this may sound kind of voo doo to many people, but I really believe it. I recently listened to an interview with an energy therapist, Carol Look, and she said that it is impossible to get thin if you feel fat. How I feel about my body and how I feel inside are what are dictating my weight and my level of fitness. I feel like a fat, unattractive woman, so that is exactly what my body is manifesting. Subconsciously I have some serious limiting beliefs about being fit and lean (one example being that it just doesn't feel safe to be lean and fit . . . and attractive to men . . . because men are unsafe) so of course my body wants to hold onto this weight because subconsciously that is exactly what I have been telling it to do. My body is responding to my subconscious programming, and it will continue to do so until I change that programming.

So, how do I change the programming? There are lots of different ways, but I am going with EFT (emotional freedom technique, aka tapping) for right now. This morning I did A LOT of tapping about these issues and frustrations I am having with my body, and it was a very emotional experience. At the end, however, I felt at peace, and I felt like I could love and appreciate my body just as it is, and I felt that I could forgive my body for not doing what I [consciously] wanted it to. I know it is doing the best it can.

The results of this EFT??? Short-term: peace and acceptance and charity. Long-term: time will tell.

Tomorrow has finally come . . .

You know how I ended that last post of about 6 weeks ago with "More tomorrow . . ."? Well, I guess it is finally tomorrow, because here I am ready to give you more.

So here is the deal: My sister and I both have committed to having 6-pack abs by the end of this year--yes, that's less than 5 months away. When we decided all this, however, it was 6 months away and 6 Months to a 6-Pack round 2 had officially begun. Only this time we are experiencing success.

Here is how it works: Every day my sister and I have certain goals to aim for, such as two full hours of exercise, getting to bed by 9pm, drinking a quart of green smoothie, etc. For each goal we complete each day, we earn money (up to $7 a week). We are allowed one non-sugar treat a week, and we have to pay $1 for any more than that. Also, at the end of each month, we get to weigh ourselves and measure our waistline to determine our progress. If we have improved, we earn an additional $5. If we have not improved, we pay $5.

So that's the plan--by December 31, 2011, I am going to have 6-pack abs. I will succeed. I am committed. I am determined. I am motivated.

And you want to know the exciting part? I started having some pain in my foot, so I switched all my runs to bike rides for the time being while my foot is resting. Now I realize that this may not sound all that exciting to most people, but for me it is. You see, I seem to have this sub-conscious need to sabotage myself whenever I start doing something like this, so I always wind up injured. This lovely pattern has been going on for years, and every time it happens, it sidelines me. I wind up on the couch, feeling frustrated, feeling sorry for myself, and complaining that I am getting fat and can't do anything about it (as I eat cheesecake and cookies to comfort myself). Well, not this time. This time, I just did a lot of praying and tapping (aka EFT) and changed up my workout so that I wouldn't lose momentum--or training time. And I have kept going. I wish I could articulate what a huge breakthrough this is for me. I didn't give in to anger, frustration, and self-pity, and I didn't use this as an excuse to give up. I have kept going, and my motivation and commitment are still strong, and I am still moving forward--and I WILL SUCCEED!!! Very exciting (for me at least!)!!!

Okay, this is getting long-winded but I have to do one more thing--record my weight and waistline measurement for all the world to see. So here goes: At the beginning of 6 Months to a 6-Pack round 2, I weighed approximately 153 lbs., and my waistline measured approximately 38 inches. So there you have it. I had actually gained a quarter of an inch at the August 1st weigh-in, and my weight stayed the same, but I know that this month I am going to see huge progress. Can't wait to report that on September 1st.

In the meantime, I'll give regular updates as to my experiences and how I'm feeling. My foot is feeling much better, by the way, and I plan to be running again within the week.

True Confessions: A 6-Pack and a 5-Minute Mile

I have a confession to make. I want a 6-pack. I have wanted 6-pack abs for as long as I can remember, yet despite my best efforts, this goal has always eluded me. Why is that? I even started my own “6 Months to a 6-Pack” program a couple years ago, complete with progress reports and pictures. What happened? After the first two or three months of seeing little or no progress, I just stopped. I gave up. I lost my focus, my motivation, and my determination.

I have another confession—I want to run a 5-minute mile. Not just one—I want to be able to run a 5k at that pace, and then a 10k, and then a half marathon, etc. By this point I am sure you are thinking, “She can’t even manage a 6-pack, and she thinks she is going to run a 5-minute mile? She has her head in the clouds!” And my response to you is, “Perhaps, but I can’t help it. I am a dreamer.”

The thing about me is, I have always been a dreamer. I dream big, but I don’t often see those dreams come true—at least not yet. I want to be married to my soulmate—I am still single at 36 years old. I want to be a millionaire—I am living paycheck to paycheck out of my mom’s basement as I try to pay off my debts. I want to own my own fitness and nutrition coaching business—I am working at an unfulfilling desk job because I haven’t worked out how to pay for the schooling needed for this drastic career change. I want a 6-pack—I have never come close to a 6-pack, not even at my most fit. I want to run a 5-minute mile—I currently can barely run a 10-minute mile. That’s 1 mile. Not a 5k. Not a 10k. Not a half marathon. 1 mile. Hmmm . . .

This week, however, I finally reached the breaking point. I am tired of not seeing my dreams fulfilled, and I am tired of not having the sexy 6-pack abs I have always longed for. So, the time has come. I am going to have a 6-pack by the end of the year. That’s right, it’s time for another “6 Months to a 6-Pack”, only this time I am going to succeed. I am committed. I am focused. I am motivated. I am determined. It’s time. More details tomorrow . . .

Fitness Training Journal - Day 3

I'm not sure today's workout could really be considered exercise. I did get up early, and I went and met my sister at the pool. We were going to work on some Total Immersion (TI) swim drills for the first half hour, and then swim laps for the second half hour. We ended up working on swim drills the entire time, making questionable progress in the whole TI balancing act, and then calling it quits. Guess I need to study those balancing drills a little more before my next swim. If only the book were completely waterproof and I could just take it to the pool with me.

I was going to skip the planned run for today until I remembered the "fun walk/run" fundraising event my older sister, Holly, invited me to. She volunteered at the event, which was organized by her sons' school. So I headed out there with my twin sister, Denise, and her two youngest munchkins, and we did a very slow ChiJog, if there is such a thing, while she pushed the stroller and we both did our best to focus on form as we were weaving around all the walkers. About two miles into it we ran into Holly, standing on the corner, directing traffic, cheering people on, at which point our fun run turned into a fun sisterly chat. We talked to Holly for a while and then headed home. So I guess I got my rest day today after all. Total calories burned: approximately 25.

ChiRunning Journal, Days 1 and 2

Day 1 - Ran Monday morning with twin sister/training partner after returning from the ChiRunning workshop in San Francisco. Let's just say I was in the zone. The ChiRunning workshop was fun and inspiring, and now I am completely decided about becoming a ChiRunning coach. Sign me up! This is the way to go for triathletes, recreational runners, distance runners, trail runners, etc. When you get it just right (which I managed to do on and off during the workshop and during the Monday morning run) you feel like you are floating effortlessly over the ground, barely even skimming the surface. It feels wonderful! But then the one-minute timer goes off and I bring my attention back to the "form focuses" for this run: Align the legs and feet, create your column. My sister and I take turns calling out the focuses, interspersed with our positive affirmations. We call this our creation run. We are learning ChiRunning and creating our life all at the same time. I felt great during and after this run. Of course, it helped when we passed a couple of women who were running on the same path, and as we passed them again on our return one of them commented, "Wow, you guys are fast!" I can honestly say that nobody has ever said that to me since I was one of the "Flying Batchelors", a name given to my sister and I in 4th grade because we could run faster than all the boys in the class. I was probably naturally ChiRunning at that time, in my little miniature 4th grade body (and I was miniature), without even knowing it. (o:

Day 2 - Ran today during my lunch break. Ran alone. I wasn't in the zone. My hips felt tight and although I was trying to remember what I was taught at the workshop to help loosen them up, they kept getting tighter, until that left psoas muscle yelled at me to stop my run ten minutes earlier than I had planned. So I only ran for about 45ish minutes. What can I say--I love my body and I try to listen when it is yelling at me. So what did I learn from today's run: 1) I might need to take the day off tomorrow (from running at least--see you at the pool!). 2) I think I was stepping in front of my center of gravity a little bit, which forced my legs (esp. the psoas) to pull me forward rather than letting gravity do all the work. I will watch that carefully on the next run. 3) I need to let the buns jiggle!!! Danny Dreyer says we are all tight-a__es (I just can't use bad language, not even on a blog). Well, Danny is right about me. I hold those buns so tight while trying to engage my core and level my pelvis (one of the form focuses for today) that I get too stiff and it messes up my form. The consequence: no floating, tight hips, and feeling much heavier while running. This is a much more tiring way to run. Lesson for next time: let that booty shake!

If you are interested in ChiRunning, go check it out at www.chirunning.com. I'll be a certified instructor within the year and I would LOVE to be your ChiRunning coach at that time, but in the meantime go check out the website and read the book (about $10 on Amazon.com--best $10 you'll ever spend!).

One month of . . . almost perfection . . .

Well, the month of perfection is now past, and my first triathlon in over three years is completed. So the big question is this--did I complete my month of perfection PERFECTLY, or did I fail?

Let's examine this question for a minute. What does it mean to fail? In one sense it means that I didn't perfectly complete every workout according to contract. By this definition it's an all or nothing decision, and I clearly failed. )o:

Okay, now let's approach it from a different angle: Why did I create and sign this contract in the first place? Well, it was to help me prepare adequately for this landmark event in my life. Now, I had about three weeks of perfection, according to contract, and the last week was probably about 75%, so really not bad. And did I feel adequately prepared for the Woman of Steel triathlon which took place this past Saturday? You bet I did! I can honestly say that I didn't even feel nervous the morning of the event. I was calm and completely at peace, and I KNEW that all would be well. I knew I could do the distances, that I could complete the event without collapsing prior to crossing the finish line, and that I had guardian angels with me to make sure things went smoothly. Wasn't this my goal, and the whole reason for the month of perfection? So in the first sense (the one the courts would probably hold up) I might have failed, but in the second, more meaningful sense, I absolutely reached my goals, and therefore, I deserve to be rewarded. (o:

Per the contract, my reward was to be a $100 clothes shopping spree with my twin sister (and training partner). As this was the contracted prize, and I did not technically fulfill the contract, I thought it appropriate that I not take the $100 shopping spree. However, since I don't feel right about punishing myself when I did so well and was so successful, I am rewarding myself instead with a 1-hr massage. I think I'll call and make that appointment now . . .

One week completed and still going strong!

Well, here I am, still standing after my first week of perfection. My body certainly is not used to so much activity and so many early mornings on such a consistent basis, but other than some [really] sore muscles and some sleepiness in the afternoon, I find that my body is adapting amazingly well. I feel myself getting stronger and leaner and more powerful, and it is a wonderful feeling. I have no limits other than my own beliefs! As I have been clearing these limiting beliefs, primarily through prayer, meditation, and energy clearing techniques, I find that old recurring injuries have begun to fade away and my body wants to show me just exactly what it is capable of--and I know it is capable of really extraordinary things! I am loving the anticipation of seeing just where we will go together!

At the same time that it is showing me how amazing it is, of course, my body also really wants me to listen to what it has to say, so I have been tuning in and taking notes. This week it has been telling me that it wants me to stay strong in my faith through constant and consistent spiritual nourishment, that it wants me to have a cheerful heart always full of hope for the wonderful things I am creating in every moment of my life, and that if I can express love without judgment, like my Lord Jesus Christ taught me to do, that I can do ANYTHING!!! I can feel this in my whole body when I am living in harmony or out of harmony with these principles, and believe me, it feels much better to be in harmony with them (not to mention every day goes more smoothly and is chalk full of miracles when I am in harmony with this faith, hope, and charity).

One other thing my body wants me to hear--I need a rest!!! So today I am taking it easy, even while completing the required workouts for the day. Rest is good, when I have been working so hard. (o:


I am loving how great I feel! I'll check back in soon to update my progress!