A Day In The Life Of A Runner

It's Saturday morning, 5:30 am, my alarm is going off. The mental game begins. "I'm too tired to go for a run. Is that aching in my hip going to return? Will I have the strength to do 9 miles today? I missed all of my runs this week, so maybe I won't even try to do the 9 miles. It wouldn't be a good idea." My lazy altar ego, which we will call resistance, shows no mercy. I have to push all these questions and doubts out of my head as I finally drag myself out of bed 15 minutes later. I am slow and inefficient with my time--more resistance?--and I don't head out the door to begin my run until 6:30. Joining me today are my dog Koda, my sister Denise, and my support crew--Chi Running app on my phone and Garmin heart rate watch on my wrist. Although we are heading out so early, I am in short sleeves and capris, a tribute to the beautiful spring weather we have been enjoying this week. I am not out to break any speed records today; indeed, I am still run-walking most of my longer runs, but still I am feeling better and more confident as soon as I am out the door, doing what I want to be doing--running. Slowly. 9 miles. For 3 hours.

The first 4.5 miles of our run are hilly and a somewhat challenging for me. Koda keeps us well entertained with his antics, trying so hard to stay in his "heel" while still sniffing, exploring, and marking as much as he possibly can. About a mile in he takes a pit stop, for which I am prepared with my little blue biodegradable bags. He seems very concerned when Denise runs off down a side street, as I take the time to clean up after my pooch. Her detour separates us for 10 - 15 minutes, during which Koda is nervously looking over his shoulder the entire time. Where could she be???!! Denise is faster and in better shape than I am at this point, so in order for us to run together she must take little side trips so she can push herself sufficiently hard while still feeling okay about doing her runs with me. Koda is very uncomfortable with this, to say the least, and can't keep from watching for her constantly until she finally returns. Once all is right in his universe again, he trots happily along, content that his 2 humans are safely with him. We run the first 4 1/2 miles on this hilly stretch, after which we drop Koda off at home and continue the rest of our run without him. This feels a little lonely.

The second half of the run is more challenging. Those first few steps back out the door of the house feel heavy and difficult. Now my muscles are feeling a bit more stiff and I am starting to feel some cramping in my quads. We continue on, however, and I try to pay more attention to my form as I go, endeavoring to relax my body more, align my spine, engage my core, and really lean into the run. This feels better for a couple of miles, but inevitably I hit that point in those final miles where my body keeps wanting to stop and walk. This is where the run becomes much less about form, heart rate, stamina, etc. and much more of the mental game. This is where that resistance really ramps up her efforts and tries to take over. She tells me that I am really feeling tired, that certainly I have pushed myself hard enough for one day, that walking would be better and more comfortable, and that there is no need to run anymore. Every time I slow down to a walk, I have to remind myself that I do still have the strength for a slow run, and that there isn't any need to walk. I don't have any major aches anywhere that might justify a walk instead of a run. I can do this, contrary to what the resistance is telling me.

And so the battle rages, step after step, block after block. I am grateful that this route is an out and back so the resistance can't talk me out of going the full distance at this point. All she can do is try to convince me to slow down, to walk, to complain, to feel sorry for myself. I must say that she is very, very good at her job
. But I keep going, running as much as I can and walking the rest, until I am only a short distance from home and I finally allow myself to slow to a cool-down walk. I have completed, in the end, more than 9.5 miles of walk-running, which, I note, is more than I have ever yet run (or run-walked as the case may be) in my life. What an accomplishment! I feel very happy!

Could I have done it without my team? Although somewhat less entertaining and a bit more lonely, I could have done it without Koda. At least I wouldn't have to carry poop bags with me. (o: Although it is a useful tool, I could have done it without my Garmin (which, by the way, died halfway through the run--oops! Guess I should have charged it the night before.). I could have done it without my Chi Running app beeping my cadence and whispering various selected form focuses into my ear. I hope that I could have done it without my sis, but I am glad for the time being that I don't have to do it without her. The long runs are so much more fun when she is with me. As for my lazy altar-ego, the devil on my shoulder, the resistance whose voice is always in my head, I am not sure if I could have done it without her. I think she is there to continually challenge me. She asks me why I am doing what I am doing, and she makes me decide whether I really want it. And the answers to those questions are what keep me going. So no, I don't think I could do it without her. I am glad she came along.

September report and where to go from here

Well, those September numbers were very telling. Here are the results:

Weight: 157 lbs.
Waist: 38.25"

So my weight was up but my waist measurement was down? What's up with that? Here's what I think. I still am not eating very well--in fact, the harder I try to stick to my meal plan, the worse I seem to do. Lots of emotional blocks there obviously. At the same time, however, I did start doing more weight training during the month of September, so that must certainly account for some of the counter-intuitive results. After all, muscle does weigh more than fat.

And now, where do I go from here? I'll tell you where I've been. Up through the first week of October I was exercising pretty consistently, and my eating was not great, but not too terrible either. Then, the second week, I stopped working out for the most part (I managed to get in a few 12-minute runs through most of the week, but nothing else) and my eating escalated--or rather tanked--to very terrible (still no sugar though, so I give myself credit for that). It was just a really, really bad week. I had no motivation to do anything, and I moped around all week feeling like I was never going to make any progress and I would never realize any of my dreams because they were just too out of reach, wah, wah, wah! I was in really bad shape. Now I have pulled myself back into the world of the optimistic and hopeful, and here is what I have learned:

• I did not read or study the scriptures one single day during the dark week; this week I have practiced daily, focused scripture study;
• I did not do any EFT during the dark week; this week I have practiced EFT on a daily basis;
• I ate a lot of nutrient-poor, processed food during the dark week, and lots of sweets and junk food (my no sugar, no hydrogenated oil, no artificial sweeteners, etc. type of junk food); since Monday I have partaken of no processed food and no sweets, other than a glass of chocolate almond milk on occasion;
• I ate lots of meat during the dark week; On Sunday I decided that I am going to transition to a vegetarian, whole foods diet (I'll still eat eggs, yogurt, and fish);
• I did little to no exercise during the dark week; this week I have gotten back into a regular, vigorous exercise routine;
• I allowed myself to wallow in discouragement and self-pity during the dark week; this week I have kept my thoughts positive, hopeful, and filled with gratitude.

I'll tell you, if you are ever feeling depressed, discouraged, or just in a rut, try changing a few of these things that I changed and I guarantee you will see a huge difference in the way you feel and your outlook on life. I'm excited to see where they take me from here.

Just a note on the six months to a six-pack goal: As I find the end of the six months drawing closer and still see how far I have to go, I decided to change the program to sixteen months to a six-pack. The point of this is not so much to give myself another deadline, or to allow lack of discipline and cheating while still earning the rewards. Rather, the point is to encourage myself to continue moving forward, with less concern for how long it might take and more concern for doing it the way that is right for me. I feel really good about this. So I guess I'll be doing these monthly check-ins for a while yet. That's great--I love seeing progress!

Tomorrow has finally come . . .

You know how I ended that last post of about 6 weeks ago with "More tomorrow . . ."? Well, I guess it is finally tomorrow, because here I am ready to give you more.

So here is the deal: My sister and I both have committed to having 6-pack abs by the end of this year--yes, that's less than 5 months away. When we decided all this, however, it was 6 months away and 6 Months to a 6-Pack round 2 had officially begun. Only this time we are experiencing success.

Here is how it works: Every day my sister and I have certain goals to aim for, such as two full hours of exercise, getting to bed by 9pm, drinking a quart of green smoothie, etc. For each goal we complete each day, we earn money (up to $7 a week). We are allowed one non-sugar treat a week, and we have to pay $1 for any more than that. Also, at the end of each month, we get to weigh ourselves and measure our waistline to determine our progress. If we have improved, we earn an additional $5. If we have not improved, we pay $5.

So that's the plan--by December 31, 2011, I am going to have 6-pack abs. I will succeed. I am committed. I am determined. I am motivated.

And you want to know the exciting part? I started having some pain in my foot, so I switched all my runs to bike rides for the time being while my foot is resting. Now I realize that this may not sound all that exciting to most people, but for me it is. You see, I seem to have this sub-conscious need to sabotage myself whenever I start doing something like this, so I always wind up injured. This lovely pattern has been going on for years, and every time it happens, it sidelines me. I wind up on the couch, feeling frustrated, feeling sorry for myself, and complaining that I am getting fat and can't do anything about it (as I eat cheesecake and cookies to comfort myself). Well, not this time. This time, I just did a lot of praying and tapping (aka EFT) and changed up my workout so that I wouldn't lose momentum--or training time. And I have kept going. I wish I could articulate what a huge breakthrough this is for me. I didn't give in to anger, frustration, and self-pity, and I didn't use this as an excuse to give up. I have kept going, and my motivation and commitment are still strong, and I am still moving forward--and I WILL SUCCEED!!! Very exciting (for me at least!)!!!

Okay, this is getting long-winded but I have to do one more thing--record my weight and waistline measurement for all the world to see. So here goes: At the beginning of 6 Months to a 6-Pack round 2, I weighed approximately 153 lbs., and my waistline measured approximately 38 inches. So there you have it. I had actually gained a quarter of an inch at the August 1st weigh-in, and my weight stayed the same, but I know that this month I am going to see huge progress. Can't wait to report that on September 1st.

In the meantime, I'll give regular updates as to my experiences and how I'm feeling. My foot is feeling much better, by the way, and I plan to be running again within the week.

True Confessions: A 6-Pack and a 5-Minute Mile

I have a confession to make. I want a 6-pack. I have wanted 6-pack abs for as long as I can remember, yet despite my best efforts, this goal has always eluded me. Why is that? I even started my own “6 Months to a 6-Pack” program a couple years ago, complete with progress reports and pictures. What happened? After the first two or three months of seeing little or no progress, I just stopped. I gave up. I lost my focus, my motivation, and my determination.

I have another confession—I want to run a 5-minute mile. Not just one—I want to be able to run a 5k at that pace, and then a 10k, and then a half marathon, etc. By this point I am sure you are thinking, “She can’t even manage a 6-pack, and she thinks she is going to run a 5-minute mile? She has her head in the clouds!” And my response to you is, “Perhaps, but I can’t help it. I am a dreamer.”

The thing about me is, I have always been a dreamer. I dream big, but I don’t often see those dreams come true—at least not yet. I want to be married to my soulmate—I am still single at 36 years old. I want to be a millionaire—I am living paycheck to paycheck out of my mom’s basement as I try to pay off my debts. I want to own my own fitness and nutrition coaching business—I am working at an unfulfilling desk job because I haven’t worked out how to pay for the schooling needed for this drastic career change. I want a 6-pack—I have never come close to a 6-pack, not even at my most fit. I want to run a 5-minute mile—I currently can barely run a 10-minute mile. That’s 1 mile. Not a 5k. Not a 10k. Not a half marathon. 1 mile. Hmmm . . .

This week, however, I finally reached the breaking point. I am tired of not seeing my dreams fulfilled, and I am tired of not having the sexy 6-pack abs I have always longed for. So, the time has come. I am going to have a 6-pack by the end of the year. That’s right, it’s time for another “6 Months to a 6-Pack”, only this time I am going to succeed. I am committed. I am focused. I am motivated. I am determined. It’s time. More details tomorrow . . .

Fitness Training Journal - Day 3

I'm not sure today's workout could really be considered exercise. I did get up early, and I went and met my sister at the pool. We were going to work on some Total Immersion (TI) swim drills for the first half hour, and then swim laps for the second half hour. We ended up working on swim drills the entire time, making questionable progress in the whole TI balancing act, and then calling it quits. Guess I need to study those balancing drills a little more before my next swim. If only the book were completely waterproof and I could just take it to the pool with me.

I was going to skip the planned run for today until I remembered the "fun walk/run" fundraising event my older sister, Holly, invited me to. She volunteered at the event, which was organized by her sons' school. So I headed out there with my twin sister, Denise, and her two youngest munchkins, and we did a very slow ChiJog, if there is such a thing, while she pushed the stroller and we both did our best to focus on form as we were weaving around all the walkers. About two miles into it we ran into Holly, standing on the corner, directing traffic, cheering people on, at which point our fun run turned into a fun sisterly chat. We talked to Holly for a while and then headed home. So I guess I got my rest day today after all. Total calories burned: approximately 25.