When Things Don't Go Your Way

My voice has been gone for these last couple of days. It is amazing how powerless you feel when you can't talk.

Speaking of feeling powerless, you may remember that I mentioned in a recent blog post how I used to get sick all the time. We're talking seriously ill: off my feet, missing work, miserably ill, at least once a month. At that time I was very unhappy, working in a job I didn't feel fulfilled in, living far away from my family, eating a very poor diet (way too many sweets), and all my closest friends were getting married and moving on while I stayed right where I was--alone and depressed. So now that I have painted this lovely picture for you, is there any question as to why I was getting sick all the time? Didn't think so.

Fast forward five years to today. I am living near my family (most importantly my twin sister, who is only 10 minutes away, and my mom), I am eating a very healthy diet, and I am running my own business (with my sis) doing exactly what I want to be doing. Oh yeah, I almost forgot to mention, I am also, once again, getting sick constantly--we're talking every other week. What??!!! This doesn't make any sense! That time before, now that made sense. But this??? What in the world is going on?

Unfortunately, I don't have the answers yet, but I do believe it is somehow linked to my deep-seated fears. Fears of what, you ask? I don't really know for sure--fear of failure, fear of success, fear of getting hurt, fear of loneliness, fear of letting my clients down, all of the above? Maybe it has to do with all of these things plus some that I haven't even listed. What I do know is that I am letting myself get way too stressed out about things again, and I am not trusting in my God enough. I have not been living mindfully these past few weeks. Instead I have been worrying and losing sleep over deadlines and sundry administrative obligations, and the stress has grown exponentially in that time. And now, at this very moment, I am sicker than I have been in years--probably since the last time my body and I were playing the "always sick" game.

So what now? Even though I don't understand all that is going on with my body right now, there are still some things I can do to make the situation better right now. First of all, I have done some energy clearing with my sister, Denise Mason, who is an energy coach, and I can feel my energy and my mood--and my body--changing already. I am also getting back to trust, hope, and mindfulness. I am trusting in the Lord again, and remembering that He has always taken care of me, and that He will continue to do so as long as I am doing my best to stay close to Him. This gives me great hope! I am striving to be present and live mindfully, not letting the deadlines and worries of tomorrow rob me of today. It is time for me to set my fears and my stress and my worries aside and just take things one day at a time--again. Add to all this a healthy dose of gratitude, since I know that recognizing my blessings will always raise my energy and my joy.

Now, it may seem to you that I had this all figured out a month ago; it seems that way to me too, and to tell you the truth, I am not sure why I have to figure it out again. But, looking on the bright side, at least I am figuring it out again just a month later, rather than a year later, or five years later. Before long these things will just be a part of me, and I won't have to keep forgetting and re-figuring things out.

So what is my answer to what you should do when things don't seem to be going your way? Trust God, be full of hope and gratitude, and choose to really live each moment of your life--that is my solution. Feel free to find a better one, if you can.

P.S. I have my January "get fit" results. I will post them in another day or two.

October Results and Taking Commitment by Surprise

What is going on here?!!! I believe it was nearly three weeks ago that I decided to transition to a whole foods vegetarian diet, and to re-commit to a workout plan. I, like you, have committed to healthier eating and to regular exercise at least a thousand times over the course of my life, but this time something seems different--I am actually doing it! Now I realize that it has been less than 3 weeks, but something just feels different this time around. It's as if that little subconscious voice in my head that is usually telling me that I am going to fail because I suck at sticking with things and I am unworthy of real success, is telling me instead that I can do anything I put my mind to, that I am already a success, and that regular exercise and healthy eating is natural for an athlete and coach such as myself. Suddenly that voice is my biggest fan and absolutely believes in me. This is really something!

In discussing this phenomenon with my sister, Coach Denise Kay, we found that we have both been experiencing the same thing, and it has left both of us wondering what has changed? Why is this time so different? I don't know that there is one silver bullet that is making the difference for us, but perhaps it is the right combination of several good things, including the following:

• Daily prayer and scripture study. I know you may be wondering what this has to do with health and fitness, but I assure you that it is hugely important. If you have ever read that children's book You Are Special by Max Lucado, you know that the little Wemmicks who visit their creator on a regular basis have a better sense of who they are and of their own value, regardless of what anyone else may say or think about them. This is how daily scripture study and prayer help me. Knowing who I am and feeling my worth helps me to have more motivation to stick with my commitments, instead of falling back into that old habit of self-sabotage.
• Daily EFT practice. EFT has been so instrumental in helping me to clear my subconscious limiting beliefs and to align my energy with my goals. Denise and I have been tapping every day, and we check in with each other to make sure we are fitting it in every day and to discuss the experiences we are having. If we feel a lot of resistance about something specific during the day then that is what we try to focus on when we are tapping. This consistent, daily practice really makes a difference.
• Becoming Beachbody coaches. It seems to me that somehow tying our fitness and nutrition commitments to our business has created a huge incentive for both of us to get our workouts in every day and to eat right. We want to be able to coach others who are struggling with health/weight issues, and we know that as we experience our own transformation we can better assist those who are looking for help. I think that focusing on the service aspect of our own fitness journey is very motivating to both of us.
• Shakeology. This is a vitamin-packed protein drink that I think is about as healthy as you can get in one glass. While I am focusing primarily on whole foods in my new way of eating, I do believe that this is an excellent way to supplement in order to ensure you are getting enough vitamins and minerals in your diet. Shakeology uses whole food sources, includes many superfoods, and is also quite tasty. I drink it with 16 ozs of almond milk and that makes it a really satisfying meal replacement. Shakeology has really helped me to curb my sweets cravings as well. Two thumbs up for this product. I have to credit it with at least a portion of my recent success.
• Hope and gratitude. I have been focusing on my blessings and holding that vibration of gratitude as often as I possibly can. When I feel grateful for all I have, it is easy for me to feel hope for the future and the many blessings and successes to come. I know they will come if I can keep holding onto that feeling of gratitude, and if I will trust myself and trust in God.

These things, I believe, are the primary reasons for my recent shift. I'm excited to see where it takes me from here. I must add here that I am already seeing some benefits. I blogged the other day about resisting the feelings of discouragement that came with my increased waist size. Well, that measurement day wasn't my official weigh-in day, so I decided to do my monthly check-in measurements (waist and weight) on November 1st, despite having done them only 3 days earlier. You can imagine my shock when I found that my waist was down to 37.5 inches, and that my weight was down to 154 lbs. Yippeeee! I guess that 39.75-inch measurement was just the dark before the dawn. (o: I feel great about my October progress toward my six-pack and toward a stronger, leaner, healthier me.

September report and where to go from here

Well, those September numbers were very telling. Here are the results:

Weight: 157 lbs.
Waist: 38.25"

So my weight was up but my waist measurement was down? What's up with that? Here's what I think. I still am not eating very well--in fact, the harder I try to stick to my meal plan, the worse I seem to do. Lots of emotional blocks there obviously. At the same time, however, I did start doing more weight training during the month of September, so that must certainly account for some of the counter-intuitive results. After all, muscle does weigh more than fat.

And now, where do I go from here? I'll tell you where I've been. Up through the first week of October I was exercising pretty consistently, and my eating was not great, but not too terrible either. Then, the second week, I stopped working out for the most part (I managed to get in a few 12-minute runs through most of the week, but nothing else) and my eating escalated--or rather tanked--to very terrible (still no sugar though, so I give myself credit for that). It was just a really, really bad week. I had no motivation to do anything, and I moped around all week feeling like I was never going to make any progress and I would never realize any of my dreams because they were just too out of reach, wah, wah, wah! I was in really bad shape. Now I have pulled myself back into the world of the optimistic and hopeful, and here is what I have learned:

• I did not read or study the scriptures one single day during the dark week; this week I have practiced daily, focused scripture study;
• I did not do any EFT during the dark week; this week I have practiced EFT on a daily basis;
• I ate a lot of nutrient-poor, processed food during the dark week, and lots of sweets and junk food (my no sugar, no hydrogenated oil, no artificial sweeteners, etc. type of junk food); since Monday I have partaken of no processed food and no sweets, other than a glass of chocolate almond milk on occasion;
• I ate lots of meat during the dark week; On Sunday I decided that I am going to transition to a vegetarian, whole foods diet (I'll still eat eggs, yogurt, and fish);
• I did little to no exercise during the dark week; this week I have gotten back into a regular, vigorous exercise routine;
• I allowed myself to wallow in discouragement and self-pity during the dark week; this week I have kept my thoughts positive, hopeful, and filled with gratitude.

I'll tell you, if you are ever feeling depressed, discouraged, or just in a rut, try changing a few of these things that I changed and I guarantee you will see a huge difference in the way you feel and your outlook on life. I'm excited to see where they take me from here.

Just a note on the six months to a six-pack goal: As I find the end of the six months drawing closer and still see how far I have to go, I decided to change the program to sixteen months to a six-pack. The point of this is not so much to give myself another deadline, or to allow lack of discipline and cheating while still earning the rewards. Rather, the point is to encourage myself to continue moving forward, with less concern for how long it might take and more concern for doing it the way that is right for me. I feel really good about this. So I guess I'll be doing these monthly check-ins for a while yet. That's great--I love seeing progress!

True Confessions: A 6-Pack and a 5-Minute Mile

I have a confession to make. I want a 6-pack. I have wanted 6-pack abs for as long as I can remember, yet despite my best efforts, this goal has always eluded me. Why is that? I even started my own “6 Months to a 6-Pack” program a couple years ago, complete with progress reports and pictures. What happened? After the first two or three months of seeing little or no progress, I just stopped. I gave up. I lost my focus, my motivation, and my determination.

I have another confession—I want to run a 5-minute mile. Not just one—I want to be able to run a 5k at that pace, and then a 10k, and then a half marathon, etc. By this point I am sure you are thinking, “She can’t even manage a 6-pack, and she thinks she is going to run a 5-minute mile? She has her head in the clouds!” And my response to you is, “Perhaps, but I can’t help it. I am a dreamer.”

The thing about me is, I have always been a dreamer. I dream big, but I don’t often see those dreams come true—at least not yet. I want to be married to my soulmate—I am still single at 36 years old. I want to be a millionaire—I am living paycheck to paycheck out of my mom’s basement as I try to pay off my debts. I want to own my own fitness and nutrition coaching business—I am working at an unfulfilling desk job because I haven’t worked out how to pay for the schooling needed for this drastic career change. I want a 6-pack—I have never come close to a 6-pack, not even at my most fit. I want to run a 5-minute mile—I currently can barely run a 10-minute mile. That’s 1 mile. Not a 5k. Not a 10k. Not a half marathon. 1 mile. Hmmm . . .

This week, however, I finally reached the breaking point. I am tired of not seeing my dreams fulfilled, and I am tired of not having the sexy 6-pack abs I have always longed for. So, the time has come. I am going to have a 6-pack by the end of the year. That’s right, it’s time for another “6 Months to a 6-Pack”, only this time I am going to succeed. I am committed. I am focused. I am motivated. I am determined. It’s time. More details tomorrow . . .