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Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Eating right. Check. Exercising regularly. Check. Believing in myself. Hmmm . . .

Okay, so over the last year I have significantly improved my nutrition (e.g. no sugar, green smoothies every day, little meat, lots of beans and whole grains, etc.) and I have seriously increased my exercise volume. Although my workouts have been very sporadic, they still add up to more than the previous three years' workouts combined. In the last 3 1/2 weeks, however, my eating has been beyond healthy, and my workouts have been high quantity and high quality. And yet, even with all this, I still am at pretty close to the same weight I was at nine months ago. So what is the problem???? Seriously, the frustration and anger at my body this morning were overwhelming. Why can't I seem to drop this weight, even when I feel like I am doing everything right? Has anyone else experienced this?

Well, I'm guessing there are others out there with similar stories. I know I could conjecture that it has to do with my portion sizes, or eating too often, or eating not often enough, or eating at the wrong times of the day, or my ratio of carbs to protein to fat, or the toxins that my fat cells are holding onto and they just don't want to let them go because that would dump all this toxic waste (literally) into my body so they are holding on for dear life, or a million other things. But to tell you the truth, I have been down most of these roads, and I am still sitting here in the same 150-pound-plus body that I had nine months ago. Want to know what I really think? Well, I'm going to tell you because this is my blog and I can do what I want on my blog. (o; I really think this is a problem of limiting subconscious beliefs and energy blocks. I know this may sound kind of voo doo to many people, but I really believe it. I recently listened to an interview with an energy therapist, Carol Look, and she said that it is impossible to get thin if you feel fat. How I feel about my body and how I feel inside are what are dictating my weight and my level of fitness. I feel like a fat, unattractive woman, so that is exactly what my body is manifesting. Subconsciously I have some serious limiting beliefs about being fit and lean (one example being that it just doesn't feel safe to be lean and fit . . . and attractive to men . . . because men are unsafe) so of course my body wants to hold onto this weight because subconsciously that is exactly what I have been telling it to do. My body is responding to my subconscious programming, and it will continue to do so until I change that programming.

So, how do I change the programming? There are lots of different ways, but I am going with EFT (emotional freedom technique, aka tapping) for right now. This morning I did A LOT of tapping about these issues and frustrations I am having with my body, and it was a very emotional experience. At the end, however, I felt at peace, and I felt like I could love and appreciate my body just as it is, and I felt that I could forgive my body for not doing what I [consciously] wanted it to. I know it is doing the best it can.

The results of this EFT??? Short-term: peace and acceptance and charity. Long-term: time will tell.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Tomorrow has finally come . . .

You know how I ended that last post of about 6 weeks ago with "More tomorrow . . ."? Well, I guess it is finally tomorrow, because here I am ready to give you more.

So here is the deal: My sister and I both have committed to having 6-pack abs by the end of this year--yes, that's less than 5 months away. When we decided all this, however, it was 6 months away and 6 Months to a 6-Pack round 2 had officially begun. Only this time we are experiencing success.

Here is how it works: Every day my sister and I have certain goals to aim for, such as two full hours of exercise, getting to bed by 9pm, drinking a quart of green smoothie, etc. For each goal we complete each day, we earn money (up to $7 a week). We are allowed one non-sugar treat a week, and we have to pay $1 for any more than that. Also, at the end of each month, we get to weigh ourselves and measure our waistline to determine our progress. If we have improved, we earn an additional $5. If we have not improved, we pay $5.

So that's the plan--by December 31, 2011, I am going to have 6-pack abs. I will succeed. I am committed. I am determined. I am motivated.

And you want to know the exciting part? I started having some pain in my foot, so I switched all my runs to bike rides for the time being while my foot is resting. Now I realize that this may not sound all that exciting to most people, but for me it is. You see, I seem to have this sub-conscious need to sabotage myself whenever I start doing something like this, so I always wind up injured. This lovely pattern has been going on for years, and every time it happens, it sidelines me. I wind up on the couch, feeling frustrated, feeling sorry for myself, and complaining that I am getting fat and can't do anything about it (as I eat cheesecake and cookies to comfort myself). Well, not this time. This time, I just did a lot of praying and tapping (aka EFT) and changed up my workout so that I wouldn't lose momentum--or training time. And I have kept going. I wish I could articulate what a huge breakthrough this is for me. I didn't give in to anger, frustration, and self-pity, and I didn't use this as an excuse to give up. I have kept going, and my motivation and commitment are still strong, and I am still moving forward--and I WILL SUCCEED!!! Very exciting (for me at least!)!!!

Okay, this is getting long-winded but I have to do one more thing--record my weight and waistline measurement for all the world to see. So here goes: At the beginning of 6 Months to a 6-Pack round 2, I weighed approximately 153 lbs., and my waistline measured approximately 38 inches. So there you have it. I had actually gained a quarter of an inch at the August 1st weigh-in, and my weight stayed the same, but I know that this month I am going to see huge progress. Can't wait to report that on September 1st.

In the meantime, I'll give regular updates as to my experiences and how I'm feeling. My foot is feeling much better, by the way, and I plan to be running again within the week.